Monday, November 28, 2011

Back on Track!

Well, the holiday long weekend is officially over, C is on the bus on her way to school, and I've got an appointment with my trainer in just under two hours.  I have to clean and vacuum two rooms before C gets home (asleep) at noon so the steam cleaners can clean those rooms (a little gift from the hubby!).  I also have a paper to write and an online final to take by Wednesday.  /whew!  Life is always just a little bit hectic around here.  :)

I am eating nothing but Nutrisystem today, because I need to get back on the dieting wagon ASAP if I'm gonna look good by the time I go home for Christmas in 3 weeks!  Going home means running into old high school acquaintances at restaurants and stores and clubs, which means being sized up to see who's got the better life, the better figure, and the better clothes now.  Well, I'm going to lose the clothing competition hands-down, and those who don't know better will think my life isn't perfect because my daughter has special needs (how very wrong they are!), so I really have to fight on the superficial front and at least have the better figure!  ;)

I'm nervous because my therapist hasn't called me back since the insurance company limited my visits to 3, so I don't know yet if we can start up with my EMDR, which I desperately need.  I feel pushed aside and insignificant because he couldn't even be bothered to return my call and say, "We'll work something out."  It's been nearly two weeks, and I just haven't heard a word from him.  I'm a little angry.  I feel marginalized.  He's supposed to be on my side, supposed to be helping me limp through recovering from my PTSD, and he can't even make a phone call when I'm in crisis?  That's just not cool...  But I'm not writing him off yet.  I need his expertise and experience too much, and he may have worked some insurance magic behind the scenes that I just don't know about yet.  We'll find out about that at tomorrow's appointment.  I won't have to fret much longer.

This was a great weekend for me on Twitter.  I found a whole bunch of great new people to follow, and I have several new followers, myself.  I'm building a network of people who have experiences with special needs, particularly autism (I am LOVING the autism crowd!), parenting, and teaching.  I view these people as companions, peers, and resources...  I am learning so much about parenting a child with autism, which will help me teach children with ASD in a few years when I'm finished with school, and it helps me parent my own little girl, who doesn't have ASD but isn't NT, either.  I am meeting people whose lives are as hectic and emotionally challenging as mine is--people who GET IT.  And then, on top of it all, I'm meeting other teachers who can help give me tips as I enter the world of Special Education.  All of this is huge for me, but I appreciate the companionship most.  It's a lonely, isolating world when your child isn't typically developing, and it's that much lonelier without people on your side who have been there and know what you're experiencing.  Invaluable.

It's Cyber Monday, so I should stay off the computer as much as possible today.  I am completely out of money and can't afford to get sucked in by the online specials!  Boot Barn and Kohl's have been bombarding me with emails, and I'm more than a little tempted...!  Excessive shopping can be a symptom of a manic episode, and those often end in me spending ~$4000 I don't have, so  I have to sit back, relax, take deep breaths, and try to keep my mouse away from the Add To Cart buttons so I don't put myself in financial trouble.  Ahh, the joys of being bipolar!

Alright, time to eat some Nutrisystem breakfast and hop in the shower.  After all, it's just rude to show up at the gym smelly--you're supposed to at least start out smelling fresh!  ;)

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