Today was C's last day of school for the term. She had a barbecue and bouncy house at the preschool, and I wish more than anything I had been there to see her bouncing around and laughing her head off. :D Now, we have seven weeks of summer vacation. SEVEN WEEKS. Of having her all day. Meaning no "free time" to go to the grocery store without her yelling and grabbing at everything she sees. No quiet brunches with my, well, imaginary friends, I suppose, since I no longer have people in the area to brunch with, heh. Seven weeks of caring for her 24/7 without those precious 16 hours a week to go to the salon, go to the gym, run errands... And all while my own school is starting back up for the summer term. Whee! Life is an adventure, LOL.
The new meds seem to be working remarkably well. I haven't had any mood issues whatsoever; the adjustment was pretty seamless. The only pitfall seems to be that they make me incredibly drowsy. It's not like the last meds, which made me pass out without warning behind the wheel of a car... This is gradual, a heaviness that drifts in like a slow-moving fog and takes over. That being said, I've been napping a lot lately. I'm hoping that will wear off as I get used to the new prescription, and, indeed, I slept much less today than I have been sleeping, so I'm taking that as a sign of progress!
It's great to be in a show again. Rehearsals are something I look forward to, and the work is... well, gratifying. I feel like I'm creating something again, like I'm collaborating creatively, and like I'm working toward an attainable end goal. In many ways, I feel like I'm starting over, trying to remember skills that I haven't practiced in half a decade... But it feels SO GOOD. I can't believe I've been doing anything else with my time for this long.
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Just Keep Swimming
Well, life continues on, and I suppose I'm enjoying the ride. :)
I went to a burner party Saturday night with L. It was at a club up in Reno, and I had a really great time. L is a fantastic girl, and I felt like, not only did we dance around and have a goofy good time, but we had some really great conversation, as well. I went all out with a crazy costume, and at the party, I got a flyer for another one in early May--I've already ordered the fabric so I can sew up a fabulous costume for that one, too! L went out to dinner with Hubby and me on Friday, and he really likes her, too. I think we'll be seeing a lot more of her in the future. The bonus: she has two roommates, so there's the potential for lots of group gatherings!
Hubby and I have been having some really great conversations lately. We've been discussing and redefining our relationship, and we're trying a new approach that offers the possibility of increased happiness for both of us. We've certainly opened up the channels of communication for a much more honest, open relationship. Suddenly, we can talk about things that I couldn't even bear to think of before. I'm feeling much more secure in our relationship, much more confident in myself, and more attached to him than ever. This new path may not work out in the end, but I think it's going to bring us closer together, regardless.
We're on our final week of C's spring break. Meaning I have to wash all her clothes this week and prepare myself to start waking up early again come Monday. The good news about her going back to school is that I'll be getting back to the gym regularly (whereas I haven't been able to go at all with her home all day), and with the recent change in my diet, I need that extra little push so I can start losing weight again. I feel like I just got used to sleeping in a little bit and having more relaxed morning routines, and now I have to go back to a rigid routine, which is a little bit of a bummer, but I've always done better with structure. So has C. This will be good for us.
I only have a little over a month left in this semester. I feel like the end is rushing up on me really fast, and that gives me the sensation that I'm forgetting things, not getting things done, falling behind... When I'm actually not. It's very disconcerting. On top of that, my desktop is still broken, and working on this old laptop is... well... less than satisfactory. Especially for writing papers (which I have to do this week). The replacement parts for my desktop simply can't come fast enough!
Life is good. I have no complaints, for sure. Things just keep slowly moving forward, and I'm trudging along with it. I feel like something exciting is on the horizon...
I went to a burner party Saturday night with L. It was at a club up in Reno, and I had a really great time. L is a fantastic girl, and I felt like, not only did we dance around and have a goofy good time, but we had some really great conversation, as well. I went all out with a crazy costume, and at the party, I got a flyer for another one in early May--I've already ordered the fabric so I can sew up a fabulous costume for that one, too! L went out to dinner with Hubby and me on Friday, and he really likes her, too. I think we'll be seeing a lot more of her in the future. The bonus: she has two roommates, so there's the potential for lots of group gatherings!
Hubby and I have been having some really great conversations lately. We've been discussing and redefining our relationship, and we're trying a new approach that offers the possibility of increased happiness for both of us. We've certainly opened up the channels of communication for a much more honest, open relationship. Suddenly, we can talk about things that I couldn't even bear to think of before. I'm feeling much more secure in our relationship, much more confident in myself, and more attached to him than ever. This new path may not work out in the end, but I think it's going to bring us closer together, regardless.
We're on our final week of C's spring break. Meaning I have to wash all her clothes this week and prepare myself to start waking up early again come Monday. The good news about her going back to school is that I'll be getting back to the gym regularly (whereas I haven't been able to go at all with her home all day), and with the recent change in my diet, I need that extra little push so I can start losing weight again. I feel like I just got used to sleeping in a little bit and having more relaxed morning routines, and now I have to go back to a rigid routine, which is a little bit of a bummer, but I've always done better with structure. So has C. This will be good for us.
I only have a little over a month left in this semester. I feel like the end is rushing up on me really fast, and that gives me the sensation that I'm forgetting things, not getting things done, falling behind... When I'm actually not. It's very disconcerting. On top of that, my desktop is still broken, and working on this old laptop is... well... less than satisfactory. Especially for writing papers (which I have to do this week). The replacement parts for my desktop simply can't come fast enough!
Life is good. I have no complaints, for sure. Things just keep slowly moving forward, and I'm trudging along with it. I feel like something exciting is on the horizon...
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Spring Break
Well, C is at school for her last day of classes before spring break. Because her school is year-round, her spring break is three weeks. Which means, for the next three weeks, I can't go to the gym, I can't go grocery shopping without C, and getting work (real work or school work) completed will be more difficult. Yeah, I can't say I'm looking forward to this...
Of course, the positive side to spring break is that I'll have three weeks to play with my little girl. I wish it were in the cards for us to go somewhere and do something new and/or fun, like go to San Francisco and take her to the zoo, but we're just not in a position right now to take any vacations. Besides, I'm treading water with work and school as it is, and I can't afford to be away from my computer or without a steady routine that provides time to devote to work every day.
The Girl Scouts have been out in full force. Fortunately for me, I don't carry cash, so I haven't had the option of buying cookies, even if I wanted to. For a girl with my lack of will power when it comes to sweets, that's a real blessing. ;) Of course, having been a girl scout and District Top Seller for multiple years growing up, I want to support them and help them meet their cookie-selling goals... But not at the risk of my health. So, really, it's best that I'm unable to buy cookies. I think. I hope. Or maybe I'll run out and hit an ATM. ;)
After more than two months, we finally were able to sleep in our bedroom last night. There are a couple of very minor touch-ups that have to be done with wall texture, paint, and adjusting the latch on our door (it no longer catches), but we have a bed back in there, there are no more holes or exposed flooring, and we have full access to the master bedroom and bathroom again. I cannot begin to tell you what a relief that is.
My desktop is currently in a state of disrepair. We were gifted a lovely new desk for me to use, but in moving the computer around, something apparently shook loose. The power supply is dead, and there's a chance the motherboard may be bad, too. We've got an RMA in process on the power supply, so when they finally process and ship that, we'll be able to ascertain whether that's the only problem. If there's something else going on, it may be a while before I have my desktop back. I'm currently using Hubby's old laptop to get my work done, but I don't have access to my photography stuff, my school files, or even my time sheet for the first half of the month. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that I have a working desktop again soon. This poor little lappy can barely even handle running WoW.
Life is going well. I go see the oral surgeon this afternoon about getting jaw surgery for my TMJ, the prospect of which excites me a great deal. I am SO over my jaw popping and aching all the time! I've got a handful of new friendship prospects from my online search, and I may even meet someone this weekend for a mini-hike and drinks. I'm loving having red/auburn hair now instead of the blonde; I feel SO much more like myself! Overall, no real complaints. As I said, life is going well.
Of course, the positive side to spring break is that I'll have three weeks to play with my little girl. I wish it were in the cards for us to go somewhere and do something new and/or fun, like go to San Francisco and take her to the zoo, but we're just not in a position right now to take any vacations. Besides, I'm treading water with work and school as it is, and I can't afford to be away from my computer or without a steady routine that provides time to devote to work every day.
The Girl Scouts have been out in full force. Fortunately for me, I don't carry cash, so I haven't had the option of buying cookies, even if I wanted to. For a girl with my lack of will power when it comes to sweets, that's a real blessing. ;) Of course, having been a girl scout and District Top Seller for multiple years growing up, I want to support them and help them meet their cookie-selling goals... But not at the risk of my health. So, really, it's best that I'm unable to buy cookies. I think. I hope. Or maybe I'll run out and hit an ATM. ;)
After more than two months, we finally were able to sleep in our bedroom last night. There are a couple of very minor touch-ups that have to be done with wall texture, paint, and adjusting the latch on our door (it no longer catches), but we have a bed back in there, there are no more holes or exposed flooring, and we have full access to the master bedroom and bathroom again. I cannot begin to tell you what a relief that is.
My desktop is currently in a state of disrepair. We were gifted a lovely new desk for me to use, but in moving the computer around, something apparently shook loose. The power supply is dead, and there's a chance the motherboard may be bad, too. We've got an RMA in process on the power supply, so when they finally process and ship that, we'll be able to ascertain whether that's the only problem. If there's something else going on, it may be a while before I have my desktop back. I'm currently using Hubby's old laptop to get my work done, but I don't have access to my photography stuff, my school files, or even my time sheet for the first half of the month. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that I have a working desktop again soon. This poor little lappy can barely even handle running WoW.
Life is going well. I go see the oral surgeon this afternoon about getting jaw surgery for my TMJ, the prospect of which excites me a great deal. I am SO over my jaw popping and aching all the time! I've got a handful of new friendship prospects from my online search, and I may even meet someone this weekend for a mini-hike and drinks. I'm loving having red/auburn hair now instead of the blonde; I feel SO much more like myself! Overall, no real complaints. As I said, life is going well.
Friday, January 27, 2012
School Days
The spring semester is in full swing now. By which I mean my online class has met once, and neither of my Saturday/online hybrid classes have met yet. But they will, and soon! ;)
There's something very comforting to me about school. I've always felt at home in the classroom, at ease with my nose in a book, calm and collected while taking tests and writing papers. In a world of chaos and anxiety, school has always been a safe haven for me.
I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder while I was in my third year of undergrad. At the time, I couldn't fully comprehend the meaning of the diagnosis or the impacts it would have on my life. All I understood was that someone was telling me I was sick, that I'd always be sick, that there was no cure, that I'd have to rely on prescription pills for the rest of my life, and that I could barely get out of bed to go to the classes I so deeply valued. I knew there was a stigma about bipolar disorder; I myself had participated in mocking a dormmate's struggle with the disease. Oh, poetic justice! If only everyone who mocked others for their disabilities would then themselves be struck with the very same maladies, if only so they could learn some compassion and understanding!
Now that I am older and have been living with my diagnosis for several years, things like going to class are much easier. I am capable of doing the things that I want to be doing because I am properly medicated, and I can pay full attention in class and perform well on scholastic endeavors. I am greatly enjoying grad school, both because I am back in the comfort of the classroom, and because the subject matter--special education--is so dear to my heart.
When I go to class, I learn both how to educate future students and how to better care for my own daughter. I study techniques for assisting families of children with disabilities, and, in doing so, learn more about my own family dynamic and how I cope with the daily struggles of raising a child with disabilities. I see how many services my family needs, and I take pride and comfort in knowing I will soon be able to share those services with other families in our situation. It's very rewarding, on several levels.
School is a safe world. It's a world where your teachers' only job is to help you succeed, and your hard work and merit determine how you will be judged. Illness isn't a factor. The fact that you could barely manage a trip to the grocery store doesn't matter. All that matters is what happens inside the safety of that classroom. I realize, of course, that not everyone has a similar outlook on education. For some people, the classroom is the scariest place on earth... For me, however, it's an oasis. It's sacred. I am eternally grateful for the opportunities I have had to pursue my educational goals.
There's something very comforting to me about school. I've always felt at home in the classroom, at ease with my nose in a book, calm and collected while taking tests and writing papers. In a world of chaos and anxiety, school has always been a safe haven for me.
I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder while I was in my third year of undergrad. At the time, I couldn't fully comprehend the meaning of the diagnosis or the impacts it would have on my life. All I understood was that someone was telling me I was sick, that I'd always be sick, that there was no cure, that I'd have to rely on prescription pills for the rest of my life, and that I could barely get out of bed to go to the classes I so deeply valued. I knew there was a stigma about bipolar disorder; I myself had participated in mocking a dormmate's struggle with the disease. Oh, poetic justice! If only everyone who mocked others for their disabilities would then themselves be struck with the very same maladies, if only so they could learn some compassion and understanding!
Now that I am older and have been living with my diagnosis for several years, things like going to class are much easier. I am capable of doing the things that I want to be doing because I am properly medicated, and I can pay full attention in class and perform well on scholastic endeavors. I am greatly enjoying grad school, both because I am back in the comfort of the classroom, and because the subject matter--special education--is so dear to my heart.
When I go to class, I learn both how to educate future students and how to better care for my own daughter. I study techniques for assisting families of children with disabilities, and, in doing so, learn more about my own family dynamic and how I cope with the daily struggles of raising a child with disabilities. I see how many services my family needs, and I take pride and comfort in knowing I will soon be able to share those services with other families in our situation. It's very rewarding, on several levels.
School is a safe world. It's a world where your teachers' only job is to help you succeed, and your hard work and merit determine how you will be judged. Illness isn't a factor. The fact that you could barely manage a trip to the grocery store doesn't matter. All that matters is what happens inside the safety of that classroom. I realize, of course, that not everyone has a similar outlook on education. For some people, the classroom is the scariest place on earth... For me, however, it's an oasis. It's sacred. I am eternally grateful for the opportunities I have had to pursue my educational goals.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Back to Normal
Things are slowly getting back to normal around here. I slept a lot yesterday, sleeping off the exhaustion that resulted from my 13 hours of medical misadventure on Monday, and possibly fighting off a bug that seemed to be trying to worm its way through my immune system barriers. I woke up today and got C ready for school as usual... Only to then find a note in her backpack that today was a staff development day, and there would be no school. Doh!
So C went on an errand with me. What was supposed to be a quick trip to the car dealership for my 10,000 mile oil change and check-up turned into two hours of me watching her amuse herself with the various toys in the "Kids Corner" at the dealership. She bounced around from the toy trains to the toy diner, the dry-erase board to the video games to the books. Two solid hours, and not a single complaint out of her. No whining about being hungry or tired or bored... Just constant exploration and play. I have to say, I was really impressed. The time flew by just watching her amuse herself, and I actually had an enjoyable time.
I also was able to order a can of touch-up paint for the two "oops!" spots on my car. (Oops.)
When we got home, I had about two hours to go until I had to leave to take my final exam for my Serving Individuals With Disabilities and Their Families class (long name, eh?). I reviewed my lecture notes and watched a little Law & Order while C played in her room. Hubby came home with Starbucks for me (yay!), I made the hour-long commute to school (boo), and I finished the exam in 20 minutes (whew!). Then I drove back home, the fall semester officially behind me and a glorious Christmas break beginning.
C has school tomorrow, then next Mon - Thurs, and then she's on break for the holidays, too. We're spending almost the entire break with my family in Texas, and I can't wait. It's a little bit tiring to be there with C for extended periods because their house isn't kid-proofed and doesn't really have anywhere where we can let her run free and play, so there's a lot of chasing C around the house and redirecting her back toward appropriate play things and safe areas. She also doesn't sleep much there, so that's a bonus. =/ All that being said, I am REALLY looking forward to my trip "home," to seeing friends and family, to Christmas Eve at Maw-Maw & Paw-Paw's (an ENORMOUS family event!), and to a very special anniversary night off from parenting to enjoy being with my husband.
The only bad news today is that hubby still hasn't been able to get his referral to a neurologist about his migraines, and C still hasn't passed the penny, which means more x-rays to make sure it's not now lodged somewhere in her gastrointestinal tract. I swear, she's going to be glowing by Christmas at the rate she's going!
So C went on an errand with me. What was supposed to be a quick trip to the car dealership for my 10,000 mile oil change and check-up turned into two hours of me watching her amuse herself with the various toys in the "Kids Corner" at the dealership. She bounced around from the toy trains to the toy diner, the dry-erase board to the video games to the books. Two solid hours, and not a single complaint out of her. No whining about being hungry or tired or bored... Just constant exploration and play. I have to say, I was really impressed. The time flew by just watching her amuse herself, and I actually had an enjoyable time.
I also was able to order a can of touch-up paint for the two "oops!" spots on my car. (Oops.)
When we got home, I had about two hours to go until I had to leave to take my final exam for my Serving Individuals With Disabilities and Their Families class (long name, eh?). I reviewed my lecture notes and watched a little Law & Order while C played in her room. Hubby came home with Starbucks for me (yay!), I made the hour-long commute to school (boo), and I finished the exam in 20 minutes (whew!). Then I drove back home, the fall semester officially behind me and a glorious Christmas break beginning.
C has school tomorrow, then next Mon - Thurs, and then she's on break for the holidays, too. We're spending almost the entire break with my family in Texas, and I can't wait. It's a little bit tiring to be there with C for extended periods because their house isn't kid-proofed and doesn't really have anywhere where we can let her run free and play, so there's a lot of chasing C around the house and redirecting her back toward appropriate play things and safe areas. She also doesn't sleep much there, so that's a bonus. =/ All that being said, I am REALLY looking forward to my trip "home," to seeing friends and family, to Christmas Eve at Maw-Maw & Paw-Paw's (an ENORMOUS family event!), and to a very special anniversary night off from parenting to enjoy being with my husband.
The only bad news today is that hubby still hasn't been able to get his referral to a neurologist about his migraines, and C still hasn't passed the penny, which means more x-rays to make sure it's not now lodged somewhere in her gastrointestinal tract. I swear, she's going to be glowing by Christmas at the rate she's going!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Back on Track!
Well, the holiday long weekend is officially over, C is on the bus on her way to school, and I've got an appointment with my trainer in just under two hours. I have to clean and vacuum two rooms before C gets home (asleep) at noon so the steam cleaners can clean those rooms (a little gift from the hubby!). I also have a paper to write and an online final to take by Wednesday. /whew! Life is always just a little bit hectic around here. :)
I am eating nothing but Nutrisystem today, because I need to get back on the dieting wagon ASAP if I'm gonna look good by the time I go home for Christmas in 3 weeks! Going home means running into old high school acquaintances at restaurants and stores and clubs, which means being sized up to see who's got the better life, the better figure, and the better clothes now. Well, I'm going to lose the clothing competition hands-down, and those who don't know better will think my life isn't perfect because my daughter has special needs (how very wrong they are!), so I really have to fight on the superficial front and at least have the better figure! ;)
I'm nervous because my therapist hasn't called me back since the insurance company limited my visits to 3, so I don't know yet if we can start up with my EMDR, which I desperately need. I feel pushed aside and insignificant because he couldn't even be bothered to return my call and say, "We'll work something out." It's been nearly two weeks, and I just haven't heard a word from him. I'm a little angry. I feel marginalized. He's supposed to be on my side, supposed to be helping me limp through recovering from my PTSD, and he can't even make a phone call when I'm in crisis? That's just not cool... But I'm not writing him off yet. I need his expertise and experience too much, and he may have worked some insurance magic behind the scenes that I just don't know about yet. We'll find out about that at tomorrow's appointment. I won't have to fret much longer.
This was a great weekend for me on Twitter. I found a whole bunch of great new people to follow, and I have several new followers, myself. I'm building a network of people who have experiences with special needs, particularly autism (I am LOVING the autism crowd!), parenting, and teaching. I view these people as companions, peers, and resources... I am learning so much about parenting a child with autism, which will help me teach children with ASD in a few years when I'm finished with school, and it helps me parent my own little girl, who doesn't have ASD but isn't NT, either. I am meeting people whose lives are as hectic and emotionally challenging as mine is--people who GET IT. And then, on top of it all, I'm meeting other teachers who can help give me tips as I enter the world of Special Education. All of this is huge for me, but I appreciate the companionship most. It's a lonely, isolating world when your child isn't typically developing, and it's that much lonelier without people on your side who have been there and know what you're experiencing. Invaluable.
It's Cyber Monday, so I should stay off the computer as much as possible today. I am completely out of money and can't afford to get sucked in by the online specials! Boot Barn and Kohl's have been bombarding me with emails, and I'm more than a little tempted...! Excessive shopping can be a symptom of a manic episode, and those often end in me spending ~$4000 I don't have, so I have to sit back, relax, take deep breaths, and try to keep my mouse away from the Add To Cart buttons so I don't put myself in financial trouble. Ahh, the joys of being bipolar!
Alright, time to eat some Nutrisystem breakfast and hop in the shower. After all, it's just rude to show up at the gym smelly--you're supposed to at least start out smelling fresh! ;)
I am eating nothing but Nutrisystem today, because I need to get back on the dieting wagon ASAP if I'm gonna look good by the time I go home for Christmas in 3 weeks! Going home means running into old high school acquaintances at restaurants and stores and clubs, which means being sized up to see who's got the better life, the better figure, and the better clothes now. Well, I'm going to lose the clothing competition hands-down, and those who don't know better will think my life isn't perfect because my daughter has special needs (how very wrong they are!), so I really have to fight on the superficial front and at least have the better figure! ;)
I'm nervous because my therapist hasn't called me back since the insurance company limited my visits to 3, so I don't know yet if we can start up with my EMDR, which I desperately need. I feel pushed aside and insignificant because he couldn't even be bothered to return my call and say, "We'll work something out." It's been nearly two weeks, and I just haven't heard a word from him. I'm a little angry. I feel marginalized. He's supposed to be on my side, supposed to be helping me limp through recovering from my PTSD, and he can't even make a phone call when I'm in crisis? That's just not cool... But I'm not writing him off yet. I need his expertise and experience too much, and he may have worked some insurance magic behind the scenes that I just don't know about yet. We'll find out about that at tomorrow's appointment. I won't have to fret much longer.
This was a great weekend for me on Twitter. I found a whole bunch of great new people to follow, and I have several new followers, myself. I'm building a network of people who have experiences with special needs, particularly autism (I am LOVING the autism crowd!), parenting, and teaching. I view these people as companions, peers, and resources... I am learning so much about parenting a child with autism, which will help me teach children with ASD in a few years when I'm finished with school, and it helps me parent my own little girl, who doesn't have ASD but isn't NT, either. I am meeting people whose lives are as hectic and emotionally challenging as mine is--people who GET IT. And then, on top of it all, I'm meeting other teachers who can help give me tips as I enter the world of Special Education. All of this is huge for me, but I appreciate the companionship most. It's a lonely, isolating world when your child isn't typically developing, and it's that much lonelier without people on your side who have been there and know what you're experiencing. Invaluable.
It's Cyber Monday, so I should stay off the computer as much as possible today. I am completely out of money and can't afford to get sucked in by the online specials! Boot Barn and Kohl's have been bombarding me with emails, and I'm more than a little tempted...! Excessive shopping can be a symptom of a manic episode, and those often end in me spending ~$4000 I don't have, so I have to sit back, relax, take deep breaths, and try to keep my mouse away from the Add To Cart buttons so I don't put myself in financial trouble. Ahh, the joys of being bipolar!
Alright, time to eat some Nutrisystem breakfast and hop in the shower. After all, it's just rude to show up at the gym smelly--you're supposed to at least start out smelling fresh! ;)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)