I've been pretty quiet as of late. C's doing well, Hubby's doing well, and I'm wrapping up the loose ends on this semester of school. There's not much to report, and, as a wise blogger advised me when I first began this venture, "Don't blog unless you have something to say."
I'm out of therapy for PTSD. The EMDR seems to have been incredibly effective, and, while my triggers still exist and prompt some anxiety, they are no longer debilitating. I have found the strength and power to walk away from drunk, aggressive men in bars. I am no longer experiencing flashbacks. I have been regularly messaging someone whose very name was a trigger for nearly a decade, and I can say that name without flinching (although I'm not entirely sure if I could handle hearing the name spoken just yet). Most importantly, while I'm still carrying my pepper spray in case of emergency, I no longer grip it tightly when I leave the house. I'm no longer watching my street for my former stalker's car. I no longer fear public places in town because he might show up. Truth be told, I don't even think about him anymore, unless it's as part of a reflection on how far I've come. He has officially lost any power over me.
I've made a new friend who lives a few hours away, but she travels to the area at least once a month for work. We've been chatting and texting for a while, and she's going to be in town this weekend. We have plans for lunch and shopping, dinner with Hubby and C, and even for C and me to stay with her when we go out to Shriner's in a couple of weeks for C's next scoliosis or spina bifida clinic (for the life of me, I can't remember which one this is). It's nice to have a new friend, even if she is a little bit far away. I'm not done shopping for new friends--especially friends who live nearby and are available to hang out more frequently--but I feel a sense of closure at having solidified one new relationship after feeling so geographically isolated from my friends back home.
Life is good. My only complaint would be that I'm ready for this semester to be over so I can get fully caught up on my work before the summer term begins! :)
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Just Keep Swimming
Well, life continues on, and I suppose I'm enjoying the ride. :)
I went to a burner party Saturday night with L. It was at a club up in Reno, and I had a really great time. L is a fantastic girl, and I felt like, not only did we dance around and have a goofy good time, but we had some really great conversation, as well. I went all out with a crazy costume, and at the party, I got a flyer for another one in early May--I've already ordered the fabric so I can sew up a fabulous costume for that one, too! L went out to dinner with Hubby and me on Friday, and he really likes her, too. I think we'll be seeing a lot more of her in the future. The bonus: she has two roommates, so there's the potential for lots of group gatherings!
Hubby and I have been having some really great conversations lately. We've been discussing and redefining our relationship, and we're trying a new approach that offers the possibility of increased happiness for both of us. We've certainly opened up the channels of communication for a much more honest, open relationship. Suddenly, we can talk about things that I couldn't even bear to think of before. I'm feeling much more secure in our relationship, much more confident in myself, and more attached to him than ever. This new path may not work out in the end, but I think it's going to bring us closer together, regardless.
We're on our final week of C's spring break. Meaning I have to wash all her clothes this week and prepare myself to start waking up early again come Monday. The good news about her going back to school is that I'll be getting back to the gym regularly (whereas I haven't been able to go at all with her home all day), and with the recent change in my diet, I need that extra little push so I can start losing weight again. I feel like I just got used to sleeping in a little bit and having more relaxed morning routines, and now I have to go back to a rigid routine, which is a little bit of a bummer, but I've always done better with structure. So has C. This will be good for us.
I only have a little over a month left in this semester. I feel like the end is rushing up on me really fast, and that gives me the sensation that I'm forgetting things, not getting things done, falling behind... When I'm actually not. It's very disconcerting. On top of that, my desktop is still broken, and working on this old laptop is... well... less than satisfactory. Especially for writing papers (which I have to do this week). The replacement parts for my desktop simply can't come fast enough!
Life is good. I have no complaints, for sure. Things just keep slowly moving forward, and I'm trudging along with it. I feel like something exciting is on the horizon...
I went to a burner party Saturday night with L. It was at a club up in Reno, and I had a really great time. L is a fantastic girl, and I felt like, not only did we dance around and have a goofy good time, but we had some really great conversation, as well. I went all out with a crazy costume, and at the party, I got a flyer for another one in early May--I've already ordered the fabric so I can sew up a fabulous costume for that one, too! L went out to dinner with Hubby and me on Friday, and he really likes her, too. I think we'll be seeing a lot more of her in the future. The bonus: she has two roommates, so there's the potential for lots of group gatherings!
Hubby and I have been having some really great conversations lately. We've been discussing and redefining our relationship, and we're trying a new approach that offers the possibility of increased happiness for both of us. We've certainly opened up the channels of communication for a much more honest, open relationship. Suddenly, we can talk about things that I couldn't even bear to think of before. I'm feeling much more secure in our relationship, much more confident in myself, and more attached to him than ever. This new path may not work out in the end, but I think it's going to bring us closer together, regardless.
We're on our final week of C's spring break. Meaning I have to wash all her clothes this week and prepare myself to start waking up early again come Monday. The good news about her going back to school is that I'll be getting back to the gym regularly (whereas I haven't been able to go at all with her home all day), and with the recent change in my diet, I need that extra little push so I can start losing weight again. I feel like I just got used to sleeping in a little bit and having more relaxed morning routines, and now I have to go back to a rigid routine, which is a little bit of a bummer, but I've always done better with structure. So has C. This will be good for us.
I only have a little over a month left in this semester. I feel like the end is rushing up on me really fast, and that gives me the sensation that I'm forgetting things, not getting things done, falling behind... When I'm actually not. It's very disconcerting. On top of that, my desktop is still broken, and working on this old laptop is... well... less than satisfactory. Especially for writing papers (which I have to do this week). The replacement parts for my desktop simply can't come fast enough!
Life is good. I have no complaints, for sure. Things just keep slowly moving forward, and I'm trudging along with it. I feel like something exciting is on the horizon...
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Social Progress
The title of this post seems to mean something much larger and more important than the progress of my social life. Nevertheless, this is a blog about me and my small life, not so much about the bigger issues, so you can rest assured that the social progress of which I speak is small-scale and self-centered. ;)
I have now met two women from my profile on the sort-of-for-dating site. I had dinner Thursday night with one who is a little bit older than me, has two children, and goes to Burning Man. She was awesome. This morning, I had coffee with another woman who is a little bit younger than me, has a lot of similar interests, and is new to town and, like me, looking to get out and meet new people while trying new things. Both of these women excited me and gave me a great deal of hope. I enjoyed talking with them, and I saw potential for many more pleasant encounters and new adventures. My road to building a social life seems to be paved with gold.
I still have a few others from the site that I intend to meet. I can see the beginnings of several social circles in my life; people to drink with, people to karaoke with, people to have quiet dinners in with... I'm hoping to find a home in these circles, and that Asher will find a place in them, too.
In other news, I have leads on a few different bands who are looking to add a female singer, or who are just forming and are looking for a singer, period. My time is limited between C, work, and school, but I think I could carve out a few hours a week to rehearse and perform, and I have a few connections for bookings to get gigs. I think something good could come of this.
I'm merging social worlds next Saturday night. The woman with whom I had dinner Thursday invited me to meet her at a party downtown, and this morning, I invited my other new friend to attend with me. I see it as an opportunity to get to know the both of them better, to introduce them to one another, and to meet even more new people. It will be a wild and crazy party because it's hosted by the burner community, but I think it will be a fantastic adventure!
I have now met two women from my profile on the sort-of-for-dating site. I had dinner Thursday night with one who is a little bit older than me, has two children, and goes to Burning Man. She was awesome. This morning, I had coffee with another woman who is a little bit younger than me, has a lot of similar interests, and is new to town and, like me, looking to get out and meet new people while trying new things. Both of these women excited me and gave me a great deal of hope. I enjoyed talking with them, and I saw potential for many more pleasant encounters and new adventures. My road to building a social life seems to be paved with gold.
I still have a few others from the site that I intend to meet. I can see the beginnings of several social circles in my life; people to drink with, people to karaoke with, people to have quiet dinners in with... I'm hoping to find a home in these circles, and that Asher will find a place in them, too.
In other news, I have leads on a few different bands who are looking to add a female singer, or who are just forming and are looking for a singer, period. My time is limited between C, work, and school, but I think I could carve out a few hours a week to rehearse and perform, and I have a few connections for bookings to get gigs. I think something good could come of this.
I'm merging social worlds next Saturday night. The woman with whom I had dinner Thursday invited me to meet her at a party downtown, and this morning, I invited my other new friend to attend with me. I see it as an opportunity to get to know the both of them better, to introduce them to one another, and to meet even more new people. It will be a wild and crazy party because it's hosted by the burner community, but I think it will be a fantastic adventure!
Monday, March 26, 2012
So Far, So Good
Well, I've been doing my jaw exercises, my ice/massage/heating treatments, and taking my anti-inflammatories, and I'm definitely noticing some slight improvements with my TMJ. I still can't open my jaw straight up and down, but the deviation is DRASTICALLY reduced. I'm clenching my jaw a lot less, which means less tension, less popping, and less locking. All of which translates into less pain. So, if things keep up like this, maybe I won't need surgery after all. *crosses fingers*
On the friend front, I've met a LOT of promising prospects! I have plans to meet with someone tomorrow for lunch and someone else Thursday night for dinner and drinks. I have two other people that have expressed an interest in meeting, but we haven't tried to schedule anything yet, so we'll see. The girl I'm meeting Thursday has a very active circle of friends, so I'm hoping I can work my way in with them and meet even more new people through her. Hubby's a bit anxious about the guy I'm meeting tomorrow for lunch. He has every right to be uncomfortable, but I've made it very clear to all parties involved that I WILL NOT be engaging in any inappropriate activities, and the guy still wanted to meet me. He's either clueless or genuinely interested in a platonic relationship, so I've decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, meet, and figure out what his intentions are. One wrong move, and I simply block him. Easy enough!
A while back, I posted about some of the symptoms I was experiencing in relation to the reduction in my medication. Well, somehow, without me even noticing, those symptoms faded away into nothingness. I have adjusted to the lower dose now, and I'm sleeping well, functioning normally while awake, and my moods are nicely in check. I haven't fallen asleep behind the wheel driving since the dosage was changed, so all is looking good.
The contractor is back today. There are a few very minor touch-ups that need to be done. Today, he's replacing the hardware for the blinds that was lost so that we can re-hang them, and he's fixing the latch on our door that stopped lining up when they took out the carpet. We still haven't moved our stuff back into the room; I think Hubby and I are both kind of enjoying the clutter-free feeling of empty bookshelves and closet rods. ;)
C is on her first day of Spring Break today. Because her school is year-round, it's a three week break. Here's hoping we both get through it without any major meltdowns! All in all, though, life is really good right now.
On the friend front, I've met a LOT of promising prospects! I have plans to meet with someone tomorrow for lunch and someone else Thursday night for dinner and drinks. I have two other people that have expressed an interest in meeting, but we haven't tried to schedule anything yet, so we'll see. The girl I'm meeting Thursday has a very active circle of friends, so I'm hoping I can work my way in with them and meet even more new people through her. Hubby's a bit anxious about the guy I'm meeting tomorrow for lunch. He has every right to be uncomfortable, but I've made it very clear to all parties involved that I WILL NOT be engaging in any inappropriate activities, and the guy still wanted to meet me. He's either clueless or genuinely interested in a platonic relationship, so I've decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, meet, and figure out what his intentions are. One wrong move, and I simply block him. Easy enough!
A while back, I posted about some of the symptoms I was experiencing in relation to the reduction in my medication. Well, somehow, without me even noticing, those symptoms faded away into nothingness. I have adjusted to the lower dose now, and I'm sleeping well, functioning normally while awake, and my moods are nicely in check. I haven't fallen asleep behind the wheel driving since the dosage was changed, so all is looking good.
The contractor is back today. There are a few very minor touch-ups that need to be done. Today, he's replacing the hardware for the blinds that was lost so that we can re-hang them, and he's fixing the latch on our door that stopped lining up when they took out the carpet. We still haven't moved our stuff back into the room; I think Hubby and I are both kind of enjoying the clutter-free feeling of empty bookshelves and closet rods. ;)
C is on her first day of Spring Break today. Because her school is year-round, it's a three week break. Here's hoping we both get through it without any major meltdowns! All in all, though, life is really good right now.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Not Quite Right
Well, it's been about a week since I switched to the lower dose of meds, if my daily pill sorter can be trusted. So far, things are... not quite right.
Today, I feel like my skin is crawling, and I kinda want to just rip it off. I keep thinking about taking a shower, as if that might help. I'll probably give it a try, because, while it may be a stretch, it may have a placebo effect. At the gym today, I got dizzy (par for the course) and had to sit down on the gym floor for over 5 minutes (NOT normal) until my head got right. Even then, I felt nauseated and achy and all around WRONG. I felt like the only thing in the world I could do was crawl into bed and sleep it off.
I was really moody the first few days. Poor Hubby had to deal with quite a few temper flare-ups, mostly from my inability to take a joke. It's hard to be carefree and happy when your body feels terrible.
It's difficult to explain, but when your meds aren't right or you're adjusting to a new dose, there's this sort of disconnect between your head and the rest of your body, and things don't feel right in either place. In your head, there's a sensation of being detached from your thoughts, almost as if they're coming from an outside source. I'm not hearing voices or anything that extreme, but I feel like thoughts are handed to me instead of created within my own brain. On top of that, my body feels vaguely like I've got the flu, and my skin feels like it's been glued on top of my body. I feel like I could peel it off.
Emotionally, I'm doing alright. My moods have leveled back out again, although I'm experiencing some increased rates of anxiety (the reason my dose was up so high in the first place), and it can get a little emotional when you feel like your body's just OFF. So I cry a little. No big sobfests, but tears of frustration that I have to feel lousy and there's nothing I can do except wait for my body to adjust to the new levels of medication in my system.
In other news, I've set out on a mission to make some new, local friends. There's a website that's intended to be used as a dating site but has an option to select for just friends, too. I've met some really cool people on there in the past, so I started up a profile again and have started putting out feelers. I actually had plans to meet this really cool chick for drinks this evening, but something came up and she asked to postpone. Maybe she found my blog and realized I'm secretly crazy and got scared away. ;) In any event, I've met a couple of interesting people, mostly local. I'm having to be careful because there are far more guys on there than girls, and the hubby's not too interested in me making new guy friends, so I'm trying to be polite but distant with the men while sorting through the women and looking for those who have shared interests and/or interesting hobbies. I have GOT to get a social life! Our last local friends moved (ironically to the city where my parents live, so at least I'll still be seeing them a few times a year) on Saturday, and we didn't see THEM nearly often enough... I need to befriend someone who has a social circle so I can branch out and have people to see movies with, to go to dinner with, to go see local bands with, and maybe someone who doesn't work in the mornings who would like to get brunch once in a while while C is in school. My social life has been on the back burner for years now, and I think it's contributed a great deal to the troubles I've had. I can't keep waiting for my girlfriends in OK to suddenly decide they want to move to Reno or for us to get magically summoned back by some unforeseen job offer in Norman. We've settled in here; we bought a house here; I'm starting a career here... It's time to make it official and MAKE SOME FRIENDS HERE.
Today, I feel like my skin is crawling, and I kinda want to just rip it off. I keep thinking about taking a shower, as if that might help. I'll probably give it a try, because, while it may be a stretch, it may have a placebo effect. At the gym today, I got dizzy (par for the course) and had to sit down on the gym floor for over 5 minutes (NOT normal) until my head got right. Even then, I felt nauseated and achy and all around WRONG. I felt like the only thing in the world I could do was crawl into bed and sleep it off.
I was really moody the first few days. Poor Hubby had to deal with quite a few temper flare-ups, mostly from my inability to take a joke. It's hard to be carefree and happy when your body feels terrible.
It's difficult to explain, but when your meds aren't right or you're adjusting to a new dose, there's this sort of disconnect between your head and the rest of your body, and things don't feel right in either place. In your head, there's a sensation of being detached from your thoughts, almost as if they're coming from an outside source. I'm not hearing voices or anything that extreme, but I feel like thoughts are handed to me instead of created within my own brain. On top of that, my body feels vaguely like I've got the flu, and my skin feels like it's been glued on top of my body. I feel like I could peel it off.
Emotionally, I'm doing alright. My moods have leveled back out again, although I'm experiencing some increased rates of anxiety (the reason my dose was up so high in the first place), and it can get a little emotional when you feel like your body's just OFF. So I cry a little. No big sobfests, but tears of frustration that I have to feel lousy and there's nothing I can do except wait for my body to adjust to the new levels of medication in my system.
In other news, I've set out on a mission to make some new, local friends. There's a website that's intended to be used as a dating site but has an option to select for just friends, too. I've met some really cool people on there in the past, so I started up a profile again and have started putting out feelers. I actually had plans to meet this really cool chick for drinks this evening, but something came up and she asked to postpone. Maybe she found my blog and realized I'm secretly crazy and got scared away. ;) In any event, I've met a couple of interesting people, mostly local. I'm having to be careful because there are far more guys on there than girls, and the hubby's not too interested in me making new guy friends, so I'm trying to be polite but distant with the men while sorting through the women and looking for those who have shared interests and/or interesting hobbies. I have GOT to get a social life! Our last local friends moved (ironically to the city where my parents live, so at least I'll still be seeing them a few times a year) on Saturday, and we didn't see THEM nearly often enough... I need to befriend someone who has a social circle so I can branch out and have people to see movies with, to go to dinner with, to go see local bands with, and maybe someone who doesn't work in the mornings who would like to get brunch once in a while while C is in school. My social life has been on the back burner for years now, and I think it's contributed a great deal to the troubles I've had. I can't keep waiting for my girlfriends in OK to suddenly decide they want to move to Reno or for us to get magically summoned back by some unforeseen job offer in Norman. We've settled in here; we bought a house here; I'm starting a career here... It's time to make it official and MAKE SOME FRIENDS HERE.
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